Francesca Posted on February 05 2018
I personally started to struggle with judgment since I was a teenager.
I judged others and people judged me.
My style was a little bit out of the box and I didn't follow fashion or trends. This makes me a perfect girl to judge :)
At that age, we start to use to judge others because of their style, behaviors, choices, tone of voice, whatever.
We end up growing a kind of addiction to judging bringing that habit over the years.
We're adults now and we still think that judging is right to protect us from wrong ways. And there's more.
Criticizing other people apparently reinforce the friendship because we affirm the same way to live and a common perspective.
THE EXCITEMENT AND THE HANGOVER OF JUDGING:
As every drug does, judging reveals its face when the "chatty-chatty excitement" vanishes.
When we judge, we get an instant hit of self-approval, but subconsciously we know we're separating ourselves from who we really are and we missed something we don't know.
As a result, we feel a sense of emptiness and guilty.
Then, we have to judge someone else to relieve that feeling and come back to excitement, creating a loop.
This cycle weakens us taking away from ourselves as every addiction does.
I think that judging is an emotional drug that people generate to find other people's approval and be accepted by them.
"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge"
Carl Jung
THE AFFECT OF JUDGING ON WORLD:
Imagine a world where everyone judges everyone. I see this world where people are blinded, with plastic smiles and planned life.
Probably because it was one of my favorite videos when I was twenty, this world looks like the Soundgarden shows in the legendary "Black Hole Sun" video :)
My vision apart, be conscious that each of us generates something that makes the world the place we live on the material and energetically level.
When we're judging we generate toxic forces that effect on ourself ( on physically, emotionally and spiritual level) and on the Environment we're living.
The Key Steps towards Judgment Detox:
FIRST STEP:
We judge other people because we judge ourself first.
We probably think we're not good enough, we'll never achieve that goal, we're not so smart like that girl and so on.
That happened because we're separated from self-compassion and self-love. Mind that the world we live is our reflection, so everything starts from within.
To stop the cycle, we have to cultivate self-love and self-compassion.
May we also need to come back to a core wound, rooted in childhood to find relief and free yourself. Now you're adult and you know that no one is perfect in this world.
Human's life is not right or wrong, instead is a marvelous combination of it.
Try to release the pressure on yourself, taking things a little less heavy if you will.
SECOND STEP:
Next time something calls you to judge, come back to yourself with compassion and honor your core wound with your inner vibe.
When we experience our real self, especially related to the key moment of the past, healing begins.
What is possible when we stop to judge ourself and other:
1) WE GAIN SELF ESTEEM:
As we know, when we judging others there's a side of us that judge ourself.
That's why judging other people is actually a self-sabotage move!
When we recognize and understand our hurts, we start to build a more mature relationship with us based on "doing our best with compassion and love" everything shifts.
We start to free us from blocks and from judgment addiction. We're proud of ourself.
If you feel good you have no more interest to judge other's people choices.
2) WE RAISE OUR VIBES
Our actions define us.
When we help someone, for example, we feel a sense of healthy satisfaction gaining more energy and spiritual strength.
When we judge there's nothing that full our biological need to serve, what we feel is a sense of emptiness and low energy.
On the opposite, when we use our natural ability to generate energy in a positive way, we instantly create healing for ourself, raising our charisma and vibration dramatically.
3) WE BOOST MANIFESTIG POTENTIAL
When we stop to think about other people's choices we have more energy and time to think what we want and how to realize it.
+plus, when we're free from the toxic energy of judging we're able to generate the clean, bright and charismatic vibes we need to attract everything we want.
4) WE EXPAND OUR VISION
When we judge we have no reason other than making other to see the world as we do.
When someone does something wrong to you, try to think as they're solving the problem differently then you would.
Each our choice is the result of all the experiences we had in life.
Each live-journey is unique and different and that creates an unique emotional, spiritual and mental inner world in everyone.
"People take different reads, seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost"
Dalai Lama
5) WE'RE HAPPIER AND STRONGER
We often use self-judgment or self-deprecation as a way to protect us from outside judgment. This habit could be destructive anyway.
Accordingly, with Counseling Therapists things like "Ouch, I'm so stupid, I should know it!" or "What a loser, I'll never learn that!" are one of the main cause of fear, anger, anxiety and depression of their patients.
We don't realize how these painful feelings seriously damage from the inside.
We all need to practice and also make mistakes to learn and improve our lives.
The everyone journey towards growing is full of doubts and blunders.
Your journey is not different and there's all the beauty of life in that.
Keeping going, learning, doing everything at our best practicing mindfulness and compassion for others and yourself is the only way to experience the awakening of spirit and mind keeping growing with joy every day.
Judging & Discerning
Avoiding judging other people doesn't mean you can't get a negative feeling about someone. Could sound bad to say but I think we all need to protect ourself from what/who is negative by discerning them from us.
Avoiding judging doesn't also mean you have to remain neutral in front of bad behaviors or spiritual sick persons.
Use your skills in discerning wisely to know true friends and comprehend what is obscure for you is fundamental to create a good mojo around you, find people who can support and love you.
"Trust your gut and use your discernment to navigate through life."
Thans from the bottom of my heart to the Muse who inspires this article, Gabrielle Bernstein with her new Best Seller Book Judgment Detox.
From #1 New York Times bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein comes a clear, proactive, step-by-step process to release the beliefs that hold you back from living a better life.
This six-step practice offers many promises.
Petty resentments will disappear, compassion will replace attack, the energy of resistance will transform into freedom and you’ll feel more peace and happiness than you’ve ever known.
Hope this article inspires your consciousness to be more mindful next time someone leads you to judge other people or yourself.
My dream is you'll intentionally choice to take care of yourself and your future by bypassing that moment with a smile going back to your productive visions to create the live that you want for you and your family.
With All Love,
Sincerely
Francesca
Yes, Gabby Bernstein, my spirit muse too <3
Just received my copy of Judgement Detox. Cannot wait to start reading because I am my own worst critisist!